Saturday, August 27, 2011

I'm not sure what to do now that Ian is coming back. With him not wanting to forget the other night and me being famous for speaking my mind I'm not sure were we are going to be.
Can I handle being alone with him in his car?
what about walking close in the mall? or watching a movie at his house?
he has a thing for turning off the lights then.

Will we be able to find a normal that suits us? or will we go back to not talking so often?

Our lifestyles don't exactly clash, but that's what makes it fun.
we make each other smile

We help fill the others void too. It's been said in many ways but not straight out.
things are just okay around each other. We have that shoulder to cry on while having that person to laugh with.
Our friendship is a beautiful thing.
I love it.

We don't judge each other,
and anything from spending the night while moms gone
to painting our nails,
is just a part of our relationship.

I can tell him things not a lot of people care to listen to,
and he can tell me the little things his heart whispers.
Questions are always answered truthfully, and we both have lots, well me more than him.
I like knowing his inside.

things will be better once he gets a girlfriend, because he goes through those like I go through books.
Some times it takes a long time to read, some times only a few days.
and it will be better once I talk to Kyle.
The title behind the feelings will make it easier to explain him to not only Ian but every one else who says
"so I know it was a while back but what ever happened to you and Kyle??"
then I'm all. derp. awkward sentence. explaining love. derp. something about letters. derp. something about my mistakes and more awkward then more love then lastly derp.
when I really just want to say
"we broke up for the summer, but now we're back in action! bow chicka wooow wooow" or something like that to switch to other things.

having Ian back is going to be great, he's one of the males I crave time around. there is only a few.
I think it's the lack of a brother, and how I always wanted an older one.
I have two older sisters that I don't talk about really, but I'm very close to one of them.
I love her. I'd do almost anything to keep her safe.

It's been bugging me because I want to tell Ian that I love him.
But it's not in the romantic way, it's in the "I care a lot about you" Kind of way.
like a bestfriend, but more then that.

I guess you could say it's complicated

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