Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Feelings Monster

it's after me.
I don't want them.
I just want to shake them all off and stomp on those dang feelings.
I like the way things are with Ian.
I don't want him catching on to my feelings monster,
because I don't want him to get feelings,
because I don't want us to even have to talk about anything feelings related.
I fucking love spending time with him.
I love it to pieces.
I don't want it to be ruined or become awkward,
because I just love being around him.
I just can't help feeling jealous of other people though,
and happy when I say something an he looks at me in amazement.
I love making him smile,
making him laugh.
I like feeling like a little happy ball that he gets to keep in his back pocket.
And I love how we can watch a movie together in a dark room and not have anything weird.
I love everything that makes up our friendship,
and I'm so scared the stupid feelings monster is gonna ruin it.

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