Thursday, August 11, 2011

I just....

I wish I didn't have to have all of this confusing emotion.
it's hard enough thinking thoughts of abandonment when Mr. I Smell Really Nice swoops in.
Oh save my day, Dear Kind One.
Fuck feelings.
part of me really just wants to act on them.
Highly Toxic shit there.
I already fucked up my lovelife enough with the Pity Kiss Day.

I just wish I could sit on his lap,
so he could wrap his arms around me.
I wish I could fall asleep smelling his sweet smell.
I wish I could hold his hand.
I wish I could rest my head in his lap.
"Cuddle without commitment"

Maybe we can hit that point though,
if I get real lucky.
where I can just come over and sit on his lap.
without it being weird.
just as friends, you know.

I just miss Kyle a lot. that's all it really is. I wish I could do all those things plus tons more with him. It's so freakin hard not having him around and having to deal with these stupid emotions and urges.

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