This year doesn't matter much.
No important tests,
not many first impressions.
I still want to feel better.
I fear I'll turn into the person I was at the end of last school year though.
Passing by friends
headphones in place
eyes set forward.
Lost in our library
sitting alone writing my dislike of attention.
I didn't realize I would regret that in a few months.
when I lay away thinking about the fact that only roughly 10 of my summer days have been taken and used up.
2 by the friend that won't let go
2 by the one with a need to tell me her problems
1 by the guy who was tragically sad that I regrettably tried to cheer up
4 or 5 by the guy who left me when I most needed a friend.
Considering I wish two of those days didn't exist,
1/5 of my time with others was bad.
and more than half of that time was a waste of confused feelings.
I know it's selfish,
but I wish I had someone I could be lonely with.
I wish I could have someone to call when I'm feeling extra guilty or have an odd dream.
I wish I had someone to act silly with and do fun things with.
I wish I had a Bestfriend.
someone's house to go to,
or even a phone to call.
I wish I had someone I could tell everything to.
I wish I had Kyle back.
the one who would always listen,
and give me good advice.
The one whose house is right there,
and could always run over to give me a quick hug.
I miss those lips.
They are odd, really.
sort of small.
But I wish I had a bestfriend.
one I could tell all this to,
one who I could smile with.
I only need one person really,
one person who only also needs one person,
or at least has time for someone with those needs.
I need someone.
I need someone really bad.
I'm at the point where I really can't stand being alone so often.