Thursday, July 28, 2011

I wish everything didn't have to be a struggle

It's like I can't even breath with out it costing money.
It's not normal for all of this mess just because I need a ride to my dads.
lack of time

"We'll get you over there."
yeah.. but with out questioning if you can pay the bills?

I wish bad things didn't have to happen to good people.
It seems like everytime things are beginning to look up the just get 10 times worse.

when my dog got sick it lead my mom to feel horrible because she couldn't get any christmas gifts for my sisters and I

It was the furnace around Easter

it was the furnace again this last winter

it was the car this summer

it was the washer a week ago

My mom has to feel bad going to the church so we can get food from them...
it degrades her, in a way.
But I think that makes her strong,
accepting there's nothing to do and getting help.
my mom is doing it for us, for me.

I remember Cousin told me once she took me over to dads with her last gas just because she knew she couldn't feed me here...

but the bills are payed eventually
we need the water on for cooking, showering
the power to see, to be able to turn on my bearded dragons heat lamp
we need this house for a place to call home

and even though it's hard
and there's a lot of stress,
we can still all sit around and laugh
talk about our days
be happy.
We're still a family no matter how poor we get at times.
I just wish everything didn't have to be a struggle

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