I just....

I wish I didn't have to have all of this confusing emotion.

it's hard enough thinking thoughts of abandonment when Mr. I Smell Really Nice swoops in.

Oh save my day, Dear Kind One.

Fuck feelings.

part of me really just wants to act on them.

Highly Toxic shit there.

I already fucked up my lovelife enough with the Pity Kiss Day.

I just wish I could sit on his lap,

so he could wrap his arms around me.

I wish I could fall asleep smelling his sweet smell.

I wish I could hold his hand.

I wish I could rest my head in his lap.

"Cuddle without commitment"

Maybe we can hit that point though,

if I get real lucky.

where I can just come over and sit on his lap.

without it being weird.

just as friends, you know.

I just miss Kyle a lot. that's all it really is. I wish I could do all those things plus tons more with him. It's so freakin hard not having him around and having to deal with these stupid emotions and urges.