I hope in a few weeks time I'll learn to control myself.

This year doesn't matter much.

No important tests,

not many first impressions.

I still want to feel better.

I fear I'll turn into the person I was at the end of last school year though.

Passing by friends

headphones in place

eyes set forward.

Lost in our library

sitting alone writing my dislike of attention.

I didn't realize I would regret that in a few months.

when I lay away thinking about the fact that only roughly 10 of my summer days have been taken and used up.

2 by the friend that won't let go

2 by the one with a need to tell me her problems

1 by the guy who was tragically sad that I regrettably tried to cheer up

4 or 5 by the guy who left me when I most needed a friend.

Considering I wish two of those days didn't exist,

1/5 of my time with others was bad.

and more than half of that time was a waste of confused feelings.

I know it's selfish,

but I wish I had someone I could be lonely with.

I wish I could have someone to call when I'm feeling extra guilty or have an odd dream.

I wish I had someone to act silly with and do fun things with.

I wish I had a Bestfriend.

someone's house to go to,

or even a phone to call.

I wish I had someone I could tell everything to.

I wish I had Kyle back.

my bestfriend.

my boyfriend.

the one who would always listen,

and give me good advice.

The one whose house is right there,

and could always run over to give me a quick hug.

or kiss.

I miss those lips.

They are odd, really.

sort of small.

But I wish I had a bestfriend.

one I could tell all this to,

one who I could smile with.

I only need one person really,

one person who only also needs one person,

or at least has time for someone with those needs.

I need someone.

I need someone really bad.

I'm at the point where I really can't stand being alone so often.