feelin in the dumps

I just keep thinking about Kyle.
about what we were, about what we had. about how long we were an Us and everything that it was and meant.
Recently I haven't been ignoring his ex girlfriends from forever ago and figured out they were pretty freakin cool

but that just brings on all the memories
and it makes me real fucking sad.

It's like he's not real anymore, like he's just a guy in pictures.
a person from my best memories.
I miss the piss out of him,
and it hurts sometimes.
I mean, I LOVE being all flirty with guys and stuff.
But if I could have him as I did, they wouldn't even matter.
If I had him like I did, no one would matter

Not
dan
or
ian
or
tristan
or
keifer
or
anyone else I'm keeping my little eye on.

My Kyle matters.

My Kyle just doesn't exist anymore.

I miss him.